Nervous Nali

Recently my husband has come up with a new nickname for Denali, "Nervous Nali," which fits her. When my husband and I went to choose which puppy would become our Denali, we went to visit the breeder when the puppies were six weeks old. We were presented with 6 puppies in a pen. We wanted a female and of the 6, there were 4 females, but one had already been claimed leaving us with 3 puppies to choose from. One was black and white, and two were all white. I preferred the black and white from looks alone because I love mask markings and the striking contrast created by color. But I know better than to choose a puppy based on looks. After only moments we could tell that puppy was very confident and had a lot of energy. She was the first to everything. Very spunky. While I love that personality, our apartment lifestyle was not suited to it. Of the two white puppies, one was very shy and slow to gain the courage she needed to explore something new. The other was also initially hesitant but quickly found the courage to investigate- albeit carefully. She was very curious about new things, so while hesitant and careful, she had the desire to learn about it and when she became comfortable her fear disappeared. She became our Denali. I once said that "I picked Denali because she was mellow, curious, and responsive without being pushy or aggressive." I stand by that.


Two weeks later we returned to the breeder to pick her up and bring her home. Denali was more confident than the last time, not even flinching as we approached whereas before she had initially backed away. I thought she might have issues with strangers that would need to be worked out, but no problem, I'd just get her socializing asap. I didn't expect to be facing months of training that continues even to this day. Whenever she saw someone she didn't know on a walk, she would panic. She would try to back out of her collar. It's common for puppies to be uncertain and scared on their first walks the first few weeks they are home. Their whole world has changed, and they didn't have a big world to begin with. They still have so much to learn. New smells, new objects, new scenery, new everything. Puppies often stop walking for a minute to sit or stand and just look around. So I didn't force Denali. I encouraged her to progress at her own pace. I didn't want her to always be afraid, and with the seeds of both curiosity and fear having been planted I knew I had to nurture one well in order to manage the other. Her fear could have easily started to strangle her curiosity.

We lived right next to a park so as she gained confidence in walking around our complex I began to take her there to expose her to things in a positive way. Some things were much scarier than others to her but she had general fear of things she didn't know. People running, pushing strollers, kids screaming, bikes rolling by, she was scared of it all. The trick? Simple. Treats!

"Treats? NOTHING MATTERS BUT TREATS."

We would begin walking along the path. Whenever someone was approaching, from in front of us or behind, I would step off the path and start pumping little bits of treats into her. She would take the treats eagerly, though I could see the whites of her eyes as she strained to keep an eye on who and what was passing. We did this for weeks. I didn't take her out of the house without a baggy full of tiny treats. Gradually there was progress. No longer was she straining to keep an eye. She would sit patiently, calmly. No longer did I have to pump a continual stream of treats to her, I could wait a second or two or even longer between each one. As the weeks went on we began to keep walking as someone approached, instead of stepping off the path. I would bend over to give her treats as we walked, keeping her attention on me. As she got more and more confidence, the puppy panicking and trying to back out of her collar and escape had disappeared. She wasn't glancing back and forth, checking behind her, tail and body low, and ears back, panting from stress. She was happy! She walked confidently at my side, allowing people to pass us without producing a heartbreaking show of fear. To this day she does great on walks, and does not panic when anyone is coming from in front of us or behind us. The treats were gradually faded out. I still often carry treats with me on walks to reward loose-leash walking or to keep her attention should I need to, or for whatever obstacle we come across that may benefit from treats. But generally we just keep walking, and she is happy.


Occasionally we will come across an object that startles her. I take whatever time is needed to get her comfortable and confident. My best example is a statue at a park by my parents' house. I was on a walk with my family the first time she encountered it when she was somewhere about 6 months old. It's a big statue, maybe 15 feet tall. It's at least 30 feet off the sidewalk but Denali did not like it. She startled and planted her feet in fear. I sent my family to continue on their walk and I spent a good 15 minutes getting her to approach the statue, smell it, and eventually walk right by it. It takes time, patience, and dedication. If I'd coddled her or told her "it's ok" and just avoided the statue, she always would have had a problem with it. It's not ok. I don't tell her everything is ok when in her mind, it's not. Petting her or reassuring her is telling her "yes, good, it's good to be afraid of that statue, what you are doing is the right response." I first lured her using treats, step by step, spiraling inward toward the statue. A straight line was not going to be as good because it would be too clear that we were approaching quickly. Spiraling takes more time. More time for her to gain confidence, to arouse her curiosity, to calm her down. When I was close enough to touch the statue I reached out to it. I knocked on it to have her hear the sound, I patted it for more sound and presented my hand to her to smell. I knelt in the wet evening grass to encourage her to come explore it. She approached at her own pace. No reason to pull or force her, that's scary for her and unhelpful. She will get there on her own, in time, I knew it. And she did. We stayed until she would walk around the statue, until she'd touched her nose to it, even put her paws on it. Patience. 15 minutes is a very, very long time to spend spiraling into a park statue and walking around it. But it worked. She was never scared of it again. It was just another object, like a tree or a mailbox or a lamp post.

The greatest hurdle in overcoming her fears has been with people. In her entire life she has only approached strangers enthusiastically twice. The first was a random lady at the playground we had never met before. Denali went prancing and wiggling up to her as if she was a lost friend. The other time was when she met my good friend and she did the same thing, ears back and tail wagging, so happy to meet him. Typically she does not approach a stranger at first. She is always curious. On those walks as a puppy she would be terrified, but as soon as the person had gone by she would perk up and try to follow them. I almost always allowed this curiosity. The best things I've done are to again not force her, and to have people give her treats. She will take treats from anyone but she has to know you and trust you before she will allow you to pet her. When taking treats the first few times (or when approaching new objects she is unsure of) she adopts her "nervous Nali" stance. She plants her back feet and leans in as far as she can to investigate. She will gladly smell people from head to toe, as long as they do not move suddenly or attempt to pet her. If they do, she scoots backward quickly, and after that it takes her longer to gain that trust back.

Investigating a stuffed dog. Her ears are upright and alert, expressing her curiosity. Her back feet
are planted far back as she leans in, showing hesitation, fear, and/or mistrust. Her shoulders are tight
and tense, ready to push off and spring her backward if she is startled. Her tail is low but not tucked,
showing she is not too scared to be interested.

As she becomes more confident and trusting, her posture relaxes. It depends on the person, object, or situation as to how long it will take her to relax. Sometimes she gets used to a new person in 2 minutes and she will allow them to pet her. Sometimes it takes weeks or even months. With objects I allow as much time as it takes, when I can. If I don't have the time to work her through it I will try to at least get her attention to me and calm her down enough that she doesn't scoot away in fear. I want her leaving happily, not in fear.

Relaxed stance for comparison.

Our precious Nervous Nali is not nearly as scared of nearly as many things as she used to be. She is no longer panicking, stressed, or terrified as she used to be so often. It's an ongoing process as she frequently meets new people who can give her treats, and we do still rarely we come across some object that makes her lose confidence that we must overcome. I don't think she will ever be the dog that confidently walks right up to people for a scratch on the head but I'm ok with that. I don't need her to be that dog, and she doesn't need to be that dog in order to have a happy and fulfilling life.